Does your illness make you think horrible things about people you love? If so I can relate. Sometimes my intrusive thoughts can become violent in nature. I have bad thoughts of hurting the people closest to me. These thoughts are disturbing and make me feel like a monster. Sometimes the voices command me to hurt others but that is the last thing I want to do. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially people I love. In reality most people with schizophrenia are not violent at heart. Our illness can cause us to have violent tendencies as a result of hallucinations or delusions. As terrible as it is for others we must always remember how terrifying it is for the person with schizophrenia. Sometimes our own mind is our worst enemy. We don't want to think of others in such a vile way but our illness brings us there. It's painful and disturbing to experience these symptoms. I want you to know that if you have violent hallucinations or delusions it doesn't make you a bad person. Just take a step back and recognize that it's just your illness trying to mess with you. Never act on these symptoms. It won't get better by listening to your delusions. It will only get worse. Just keep taking your meds and battle your thoughts. Your good nature will always overpower the violent nature of your illness.
The delusions and hallucinations people with schizophrenia experience can be socially and culturally relative. In particular people with schizophrenia may hear voices (auditory hallucinations) differently depending on their cultural context. In the United States voices tend to be harsher and in Africa and India more benign. In western culture people are constantly subjected to violence through movies and video games. I find this interesting because I am truly not a violent person but my mind crosses this boundary on a regular basis. So don't blame yourself if your illness has violent tendencies. There's often more to what we experience than we realize.